What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 05:02
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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TEXT:
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Is it sinful for Christians to look at beautiful women?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
How do great movie moments influence how people handle real-life moral dilemmas?
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Why do women have sex with dogs?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Hillary thinks we must censor or "we lose total control". Why does she demand total control?
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”